How To Be An Adult

xkcd grown upIt is 2013 and I am going to be THIRTY. In about six months. Here is what I have figured out so far about being an adult

You need to have a personality that has skills that can make money eventually if this is not possible, you need to like people that have a personality with skills that will / or are currently making money. Because, you cannot, like I previously thought, live on love and fresh air. Sadly, this myth is broken. You need a savings account – it’s better if you inherit it.

Everything you think you know – you don’t. Really. I thought I knew what “hobby” meant….but when I tried to describe / define it. I failed. Literally, everything I think I know. I don’t. I think being an adult requires a certain sense of faux confidence because you know everyone knows that whatever they’re saying is actually BullShit but no one will ever admit it. Genius.

Accomplishments are like little stars your nursery school teacher gave out. It kind of really sucked if you didn’t have them but it didn’t really matter at the end of the day except you never will have friends without them… so like… yea it definitely matters.

Look hot. Always. Because people are taking creepy pictures all over the place. Even as a child. Look hot / cute / adorable. You want to remember all those times when you were those things. How bad would it be if you were like never cute, ever.

Things like showering every day, brushing your teeth, gargling, brushing your hair, matter. They will always matter… This will always be the case. Sorry teenager me, I really thought it will eventually stop. But it doesn’t. All this waste of  time when you just did it yesterday…

adults

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